{"id":233,"date":"2017-05-24T13:00:06","date_gmt":"2017-05-24T13:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wieremediation.com\/?p=233"},"modified":"2019-08-15T07:22:34","modified_gmt":"2019-08-15T07:22:34","slug":"wiere-divorce-mediation-why-communications-are-so-important","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wieremediation.com\/wiere-divorce-mediation-why-communications-are-so-important\/","title":{"rendered":"Wiere Divorce Mediation – Why Communications Are So Important"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Think About It!<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u201cThe lowest level of communication comes out of low trust and is characterized by defensiveness, protectiveness, and often legalistic language, which covers all the bases and spells out qualifiers and the escape clauses in the event things go sour. Such communication produces only win\/lose or lose\/lose situations.\u201d
\n—— Stephen R. Covey<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Peter\u2019s Pontifications<\/h3>\n

Poor communication is a problem in relationships and various situations. Inability to communicate, compounded by intimidating legalese during the divorce process, as well as other situations, can create negative emotions and suspicion, even when none was intended.<\/p>\n

When couples and disputants can\u2019t communicate, they often abdicate their responsibility and empower their attorneys to do it for them.<\/p>\n

What happens after an adversarial agreement is reached and the disputants must again communicate? Right, Implementation goes poorly. An agreement can be reached, but poor communications can live on forever.<\/p>\n

Mediation helps to develop procedures and methods to assure greater compliance and, as a bonus can improve future communications, as well as build trust.<\/p>\n

Real Life Example<\/h3>\n

I don\u2019t have a specific real life mediation communication example, but I do have real life experiences and thoughts that have evolved over 25 years of mediation.<\/p>\n

In all situations – marriage, family, business, social, etc., we develop ways to communicate \u2013outstanding and not. Most folks learn to communicate many different ways, such as words, silence, expressions, gestures, leaving, checking out, ridicule, jokes, violence, etc. And during the relationship both folks learn how best to communicate with the other, either effectively, or not.<\/p>\n

Over time there can be times when there is frustration regarding communications, but they \u201cjust make do\u201d. Sometimes folks will attend counseling, either as a couple or individually. In any event \u201cthings work out one way or the other\u201d. However, as the relationship falters leading to a conflict or divorce, all past issues (communications and other), are now accentuated.<\/p>\n

When folks choose Peter Wiere to mediate, in general they choose mediation primarily for one of the following reasons:
\n\u00b7 They just want to work things out without exacerbating the situation
\n\u00b7 They want to minimize disruption to their children\u2019s lives
\n\u00b7 They want to avoid the extreme costs of hiring attorneys and going to \u201cworld war III\u201d<\/p>\n

But that doesn\u2019t mean there aren\u2019t issues, especially the ability to effectively communicate. One of my roles is to assist folks to communicate more effectively regarding their divorce issues, such as the division of property, parenting plans, and support. Initially they will communicate as they have been doing, but as the mediation process moves along, they learn ways \u201cthrough me\u201d to communicate more effectively. I do this by asking questions, asking for clarification, being sure that everyone understands the implications of the decisions they will be making, softening their responses to each other, calling for \u201ctime-outs\u201d, etc.<\/p>\n

As they communicate more effectively, this sometimes has \u201ccarry over benefits\u201d to their communications after the divorce. Bottom line they are able to more effectively communicate the issues having to do with dividing their stuff [real estate, retirement, vehicles, cups and saucers], the issues regarding parenting, support, and ultimately come to a mutually agreeable and sustainable agreement.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Think About It! \u201cThe lowest level of communication comes out of low trust and is characterized by defensiveness, protectiveness, and often legalistic language, which covers all the bases and spells out qualifiers and the escape clauses in the event things go sour. Such communication produces only win\/lose or lose\/lose situations.\u201d —— Stephen R. Covey Peter\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nWiere Divorce Mediation - Why Communications Are So Important - WIERE MEDIATION<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wieremediation.com\/wiere-divorce-mediation-why-communications-are-so-important\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Wiere Divorce Mediation - Why Communications Are So Important - WIERE MEDIATION\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Think About It! \u201cThe lowest level of communication comes out of low trust and is characterized by defensiveness, protectiveness, and often legalistic language, which covers all the bases and spells out qualifiers and the escape clauses in the event things go sour. Such communication produces only win\/lose or lose\/lose situations.\u201d —— Stephen R. 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